Sensory blitzkriegs and the art of smiling when finally winning

• Published date: 15 April 2024
• Publication title: Irish Times (Dublin, Ireland)

And what Sky Sports Golf missed, because it happened on the Golf Channel, was possibly the highlight of the weekend, namely the fortitude of their joint pundit Paul McGinley when he, somehow, retained a straight face when Brandel Chamblee, sitting to his right, started talking about “sensory blitzkrieg” during the Masters

“Solitude is important,” Brandel declared. “There is so much discovery in solitude, but it is so absent on the driving range. I see all of these great players and they are surrounded by sensory blitzkrieg. At some point somebody has to have the guts to say ‘go away, I’m the genius, leave me alone’. The greats of all time were so good under pressure because they didn’t have sensory blitzkrieg.”

Most of us might have opted for “people yapping in their ear”, but Brandel isn’t most of us, a good egg but one who delivers the kind of golf guff that us bandwagoners are, mercifully, only subjected to during the glory weeks.

Mind you, our Paul can deliver no end of guff himself, mountains of it, but in fairness he didn’t describe Bryson DeChambeau as “an intellectual earthquake that transforms itself into this athletic majesty”. Brandel, what are you like? “It’s not bomb and gouge, it’s laser-guided missiles that you’re watching here.” Stop.

Bandwagoners, as you know, can also be quite parochial folk, so once Rory and Shane drifted out of contention ... okay, okay, plummeted ... it was time to put our heart and soul in to rugby.

(And after Tiger hit that 82? Ah here, heart shredded. It was like seeing your favourite fighter being pummelled when he should have stayed retired. Watching Tiger limping about the place will never not be a heartbreaker, even if the cameras’ focus on him, while neglecting the leading bunch, will never not be amusing – and telling, as they desperately search for a box-office successor).

The happy relief came on Virgin Media. Hearts mended. “This is the first time we’ve smiled during our coverage in a year of doing it,” said Joe Molloy after the women of Ireland slayed their Welsh...